Vegas 2012 from the Airport

As I sit here totally freaking out because of turbulence I remembered I had my blogging app on my phone and could do this to calm me down and take my mind off the whole."Attention everyone, uhhhhhhh you will need to sit back down, we have run into some storms and will be experiencing turbulence" situation.
I will just let you know a few important facts I learned while I visited Vegas for the third time. 

1) It's hot in August, I mean, like jump into Caesars fountain next to the homeless man bathing hot.

2) Remember that kitschy little "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign that makes an appearance in every Vegas movie? Yeah, that bitch is 1.9 miles from where we stayed. But, we got a pic in front of it, and it's miserable ass walk in heels in August. 

3) The last two times I visited Vegas I walked like a crazy person. This time we tried it again. In the last four years, I have apparently aged out of doing that crap!

4) Serendipity 3 and their frozen hot chocolate is pretty much the greatest thing ever. I mean, EVER!!

5) Who has two thumbs and can't even begin to drink like they used too? This girl. 

6) Skip the swimming. Our pool was hazy, and I heard two people giggling how they peed In the pool, then the hillbilly who thought it was hilarious spit a loogie Through his spit gap. 

7) don't share a story how you watched someone gets robbed, then for laughs try to pickpocket him. Funny after a few drinks...for a second until your husband tells you that he Almost hit you and his chest Hurt. Oops. 

8) ride the Deuce after dark. I met a hooker who explained how she conducted her business then she told me that she had worms and she was going to find that fucker who gave them to her. 

9) If you see a sign for 99¢ deep-fried Oreos (3 in an order) follow that sign, devour and come huge me and explain exactly how they do it so I can do this at home. (Hello heart attack) 

10) Seriously if Barry R. Gives you advice on where to stay and where to eat, don't question it. He knows his shit. I like to think I have met my match on knowing good food! 

12) I saw a cat with sunglasses on, Alan from The Hangover, many transformers, Elmo's, Pooh Bears, SpongeBob, death, Elvis's, Carrot Tops, a real Pete Rose and Dick Butkus. People watch. I can't stress this enough people. Sit. Watch. Enjoy. 

14) I'm too old for Vegas. Seriously. No, seriously! 

15) ETA: I returned, drank and loved it. 

My first solo trip

The three years later account of my solo journey to Montana.
Almost three years ago I traveled to Missoula Montana for a photography class. The class was a week-long, so I was away from my baby for a week. I was scared to go alone and dreaded the trip. I am not exactly someone who joins the group and talks to people allot. Unless I have many alcoholic beverages. So, I was off on an early Monday morning. I sat in the Airport and cried. This was the first time I had done anything without Brian, Alex, My mom or sister with me. I hated it.
I'm a bad flier, have we already covered this fact? Not only am I terrified of Flying but, I get super sick. So, I shelled out my $75 for a Doctor's visit, then another $30 (at that time) for 3 Transderm patches. On top of that, I took about 5 Dramamine. So, I was rather confident in my choices. This would be a flawless flight. We headed to Denver. Oh, wait there is a severe storm that we have to fly above, but there will be turbulence?  I was in a tizzy with my I'm going to barf face buried in a bag until we started to land. The older gentlemen in a suit who was an important businessman shook my shoulder and said "I fly almost weekly, and I have never seen a plane coming at us like that, It's close," Dude? I did the whole, Whaaa? Whaaa? Are you kidding?" speech to nobody in particular. I watched, and he clutched my arm. We were landing, and this plan was practically landing right next to us. Stop what you are doing now. Look to your right, see that thing closest to you? That is pretty much how close that plane was to us. We landed, I made my way to the smoking lounge in the Airport and had a drink and lots of nicotine. I was pretty nauseous, and both of those decisions were a disaster. I figured that was the worst part of the trip. I would be okay from here on out.
I DO NOT DO SMALL PLANES. I'm scared of regular planes, but a plane where there is only one seat on each side of the isle...nope. No thank you. I will camp out in Denver until My connecting flight in 5 days. That was the plan. But, I found my way on the plane and freaking out. I told the guy across the aisle from me that I am going to die in this thing. Maybe not from the fiery crash into the dark, jagged Rocky Mountains, but probably from a heart attack. I prayed...many times over, and we were off. I sobbed, and yet again I wore my best I'm going to barf in this tiny plane and start a chain reaction face. Finally after the longest hour and a half? Two hours? Three hours? We landed. It was dark. My first trip to the North West would start with me in the dark for the next 12 hours. I made my way to the hotel by Taxi, and can I also state that the Missoula Airport is tiny just likes its freakish planes. Cute, and clean and beautiful but, so small. Anyway, got to the hotel, inspected my room. I was in love. It was huge, the HUGE TV was right next to the bed, and I figured out the first night that I could shower, and see the TV. So, I spent over an hour that first night in the shower watching the 30 Rock DVD's I brought with me. 
That morning I woke up, took another super long shower while watching TV, made my way down to the best hotel breakfast ever.  Then I walked outside. It was hot but, not humid. Wow, there is a difference. It was like 85 degrees, and I didn't hate it. I did a full 360. Holy shit, mountains everywhere. I can look anywhere and see mountains. I was in love, yet again. It was so beautiful. I walked the 5 or so blocks to class and settled in. I took excellent notes and spent the first day just listening. It was all fascinating, but honestly, I knew most of this stuff and my eyes glazed over. It was a good refresher though. Our teacher was a very accomplished photographer who does a lot of work with famous people. That first day I didn't say a lot. We had to introduce ourselves and naturally I nearly diarrhea-ed my pants. (My wedding speech during my sisters wedding anyone?) I have a HUGE monster fear of public speaking. I can not do it. Even if it's "Hi, my name is Nikki, and I am from Nebraska" That is enough to make me pass out.
That night, I walked over to DQ for dinner and settled in my room for the evening. It was pretty good stuff.
The next day, I did the same morning routine. Up, Shower, Food, Walk to Class. This time, a lot of the students decided we should all eat together. That's when I finally spoke. I was seated by Jim, Dale, Dr. Grant, and Kaye. They were all nice and very much like me.  After class, they decided our newly formed group should hit the town. I was slightly nervous because isn't this how most murders start? But, others in the class knew we were all doing this so, at least they would know I was with them when I disappeared. Logical right? Plus, Kaye was there, and she was the sweetest lady, so she could protect me, probably? Oh well, It was three years ago, and I survived so that's that. We all met at my hotel and were off. I was dying to see the town. I was not disappointed! It was beautiful.
We went down to the Clark Fork River, and I got my first look at real cowboys. They were everywhere. They took me to an old theater that was incredible right along the river, We walked across the bridge and took a ton of photos and watched the people who were in canoes going downstream. We had a lovely time. Thanks to Kaye and Jim for taking lots of pictures of me, for me. I was the only one who had never been there, so it was all new to me. After we had walked around the downtown area, Jim told us about this great Bar called the Rhinoceros bar. He had promised his girlfriend he would get her a shirt, so we walked down and had some drinks. It was a cool place. We had a drink, Jim bought me a great koozie, "Rhino Bar, Charge in and get your Horn Wet" (Clever fun stuff I appreciate) and we decided we better head back to our hotels.
The next day in class we finally got to take photos. We divided into small groups, and I met Rachel. She was from Missouri, so she wasn't that far from me and we hit it off. She took some of the most beautiful photos of me, and I still get a chance to chat with her from time to time. Her photography is knocked your panties off amazing! 
The next few days and nights were filled with all day classes and super delicious dinners.
The last night we all decided to partake in the nightlife. We went off to the Montana club that boasted the best hamburgers in the world.
I was introduced to Moose Drool. I fell in love, and if you read my blog you know, I am still in love. 
We had a great time though; we happily took our beer from bar to bar. I was told this was perfectly legal. The cop who stopped us and said it was no longer legal. I thought I was going to get a fine, but we convinced him we were not from town and didn't know they had updated the rules.
I think I dragged myself into the hotel around 4 am. The flight was at 6, so I had to pack and drag myself to the airport. Again, tiny planes...but I was still pretty loose from the night before so, I did better. I slept on both flights. I was so sad to leave such great people and such a fun city. It was so foggy the morning of the flight that I had to wait for a while. No worries, I needed to rest for a bit. Sadly, this airport didn't have a coffee shop. 
I watched the sun come up over the mountains and was off. My first journey alone and I survived. I was thrilled to come home, but can not wait until I get back up to Missoula. One of the most beautiful places I have ever been. 

Ralph Nader lacks people skills

Peru State College graciously hosted former Presidential Candidate Ralph Nader. I was pretty excited to see him since I am a political groupie. Wait, did I not mention this sooner?
So for those of you who do not know me, If I was on the street and on one corner stood; George Clooney and on the opposite corner stood Al Gore, I will always choose the Political figure-or Al Gore because I am 100% in love with him and he is my favorite person on planet earth at this moment or any given moment in his life.
Politicians are my Rock Stars. 
Since I was young, I have been drawn to them. Do not ask me why maybe it's because they put a "Fire In My Belly" as Ralph Nader said. I do not know. Maybe I like the feeling of being told what I want to hear on one side and like the feeling of the fight on the other. 
Ok back to my story, Let me start this with the Ralph Nader speech. Monday night we had the chance to see him speak. He was filling in for his friend Anthony Shadid, New York Times Beirut Bureau Chief and Pulitzer Prize-winning author, who was scheduled to give the speech but died suddenly while on assignment in Syria. Nader started his speech with some very touching and kind words of Shadid.
I will not go over the entire speech, but Nader and I wholeheartedly agree on some things and entirely disagree on some things. I can honestly say I loved sitting there filled with rage over something he said one second and then loving something he said the next. I don't want to make this a political blog, but he did say something that I really liked.
"If you don't turn on to politics, politics is going to turn on you," 
Very cool quote if you ask me.
This man is an excellent speaker; I took a photo during one of his moments of trying to explain to MY/OUR generation that we need to get involved, and as he listed what we could do to help and I observed two girls asleep and one on her phone.
This made me so sad. 
Instead of going over the entire content of his speech, refer to this Lincoln Journal Star article. 
Or, you can watch this small clip I got. I was running low on my battery so, I was only able to get a few moments of his speech.
I had forgotten my long lens in the trunk of my car, and I didn't want to walk up the many hills to get it (I'm so lazy) What I will say is, you get your money's worth with Nader...even though it was free. He gave almost a 2-hour speech, then stayed answering questions from the audience until someone had to cut in and tell him it was time to move to the Book signing part.  The speech started around 7:00 and was in a theater that was SWELTERING! God Love Peru State College, but that place was literally like a sauna as the air conditioner was broken at the time. The Q&A started around 9:00 and around 10:15 p.m. we moved to another building. We were about 5th in line and didn't wait all that long. I had purchased my book during the speech so I could get a chance to have face to face with him. However, a lovely teacher who had driven over 2 hours asked me if I could take his photo when we got up to him. We exchanged info, and I would just take the picture and email it. Easier said than done. Nader asked the man to wait until after the signing. This man was so upset; he had to still pick up his kids and was looking at getting home after midnight. He begged, and I finally just told the teacher to smile and took it. He was happy, Nader was not. I got up to him, and he was a bit put out. He did sign my book and didn't look at me once.
He asked for my name, and I started to chat but, He didn't want to talk with me, and when I asked for a photo, he told me I HAD to wait until later. I didn't want to beg, so I decided to head home.
Hearing Nader speak was great, meeting him and realizing that he's just a grumpy old man wasn't.

Standing in line for seven hours in 2008

So, in August of 2008, I got a call asking if I would be interested in going to the Democratic National Convention. Well, let me think. Yes. The 2008 convention was in Denver, and I had been "jokingly" saying "Let's road trip out and just be there" I hadn't thought in a billion years we would get passes for Obama's Speech. But,  Our friend Barry had a hotel room and offered us the chance to crash there and just BE there (He was working at the convention).  So I hastily took two days off explaining to my boss at the time that I HAD to go, and not going was not an option. So, Brian and I loaded up my Grand Am that I had been driving since High School and made our way out west.
Wait....did I mention that gas prices were $4.00 at the time and we were broke as hell!
But, somehow I managed it. It was a pretty fun drive; we had no A/C, so I was on my death bed most of the time but, when the sun went down we were golden.

We pulled into downtown Denver, CO around 2 a.m. and found the hotel. We were instantly thrilled to be there when we saw this sign. 
We made a nice little bed on Barry's hotel floor and were out. We had been driving all day and were exhausted. Just after I dozed of Barry came in and said we had to get up and come downstairs. We had to because let's face it when Barry suggests you do something do it.  1) It will be fun as hell and 2) It will be something that you talk about for years to come.
We made out way downstairs and sat outside with a bunch of politico's and had a few drinks. The night was beautiful, and the conversation was stimulating! We had a great time and made friends with one of the hotel security guards. I really couldn't go into a ton of detail on the conversations we had, but we laughed, and I learned a ton! Just about the time, the sun started to come up we made our way to bed. Barry graciously offered me the bed, and it was awesome! We woke up on the day of the speech. I was still totally unaware that we had passes, but I was thrilled just to be there.
We decided to walk around the hotel while Barry got some work done. The entire place was a buzz. It was exciting, to say the least. Once Barry had time for lunch we hopped the light rail downtown to eat and see what the atmosphere was like down there. When we got to the train platform, I spotted Joel Stein right away and had to take his picture. Brian still says he was a rando dude I creeped out but, you tell me.
We made it downtown to the Cheesecake factory.
Remember that episode of The Office when they have the Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure"? Okay, remember he eats a ton of Fettuccine Alfredo to "carbo-load" before the 5k? Well, I had forgotten about this episode and decided PASTA will be my best idea for lunch! I will carbo-load after lunch we walked around downtown, and I kind of drug the boys all overlooking for celebrities (Mainly Teddy Kennedy, even though he wouldn't be on the streets of Denver in the condition he was in! I'm. A. Moron.) They hated me and their lives at that moment but, I was walking on air. Finally, the boys told me we had passed and were going to the speech.
I could have passed out. Best. Day. Ever.
Finally, it was about time to head off. We knew getting in would be no picnic so we would have to be there very early. This was about 12:30. Barry told us, he was going to head out and get away from the chaos. I was sad, and due to lack of sleep and my emotional state on overload...I cried. I was sad that he had honestly been so genuinely nice and given us this once in a lifetime experience. I was sad he had given it to me on a silver platter, and he was going to miss it. But, he had Whit at home who had missed everything due to school so, I understood.  He got us to the light rail and sent us on our way. 
Here is where it gets fun. 
We rode the way to the crowded train filled to the brim with the smell of BO, bad cologne, and general giddiness. We were told to get off about 2 miles from Invesco because everything was shut down from thereon. The train, the interstate, the buses, everything. Ah, no problem. We hopped off and started our walk. I was still walking on air until we saw the sight before us. Thousands trying to get around and thousands more protesters. There were protesters against Obama in general, against weed, for weed (the chant of Marijuana Saved my life, was my favorite of the day) for Obama, and the most ludicrous and hilarious, STOP BIRD PORN. Yep, that was a thing they were against, and they were there to stop it. What is bird porn I asked one of the ladies? "You people watch birds mate, its wrong and disgusting" Brian grabbed me, mad that I was feeding into this craziness. 
We got to the next group that was protesting something, and I immediately got into a huge fight. I was yelling with a few others in their faces all full of fire, and again Brian grabbed me and ripped my ass for feeding into it. I kept yelling at them until we got near the stadium. It was beautiful! I was almost there, two miles of yelling and fighting in this August heat and now I was near. Hallelujah!
We were standing in front of Invesco when we rounded the corner. Oh. My. God. People in line everywhere! We would get to one spot to stand only to find out, no keep going the line doesn't end here. We walked around for about an hour before we found the end of the line.  We got there and expected to be there a few hours. I was tired, hot, thirsty, and blerching a garlic/Alfredo mixture.  Blunderous.
Brian is in this photo, somewhere. He was kind enough to stand alone while I took to a hill in the shade for an hour. I sat with a man who kept photographing me laying down moaning to nobody in particular about how thirsty and hot I was. Finally, after the 5th or 6th photo, I popped up and bit his head off. We ended up making friends and chatting. He worked for the AP and said this was the most disorganized mess he had ever witnessed. He was happy to be working, and have a direct to door pass. (bastard) After a little over an hour, I relieved Brian so he could rest. 
Back on the hill. I kindly named it Hell Hill. About 6 hours in, I was weak, burned, pale, and so dehydrated I could hardly stand. The only thing getting me through at this point was adrenaline. About 20 minutes after this photo gobs of police officers showed up with cases of warm bottled water. They first walked around handing it to anyone who looked a bit weak. Luckily I was one of the first. I downed four bottles in about 10 minutes. Finally, everyone around us had water, and we were all so relieved. I know a few of us discussed how we might not make it, but for our spouses to please go on without us. It was very dramatic, but when you are in the state we were in...you would start to talk crazy too.
I knew we were going to miss it all. And here come the tears. I cried. I cried like a big dumb girl. I couldn't do it anymore. Just as my fit was about to hit the fever pitch, the line started to move! 
WE ARE MOVING. Oh, and Brian is having to almost hold me up. During the hustle of finally moving, I got my second wind. I was on air again. We were so close, oh you stupid girl. We were not close. We still had miles to cover, and if we didn't keep up, we were f'ed to put it lightly. So, I'm huffing, near tears, bitching as loud as I can as we weave in and out of the weirdest places. Up some wooden steps, down some wooden steps, by the meth den again, back to the parking lot where I nearly died, in front of the stadium, around the stadium, down a hill, along a fenced-in sidewalk, up a hill, down another hill, under an overpass and finally to the tents. TENTS! SWEET TENTS. One problem, Brian has to pee. No, not the time. Brian when we get in, we will pee, eat, drink and it will be GLORIOUS! HOLD IT. Nope, he had to find the ONE port-a-potty in Denver to use (clearly they were prepared) I didn't have to go because of my severe dehydration. (lucky me) back to the tents.
Wait.
What?
Is that Al Gore speaking?
And here came the biggest break down of my life. I was yelling at the secret service to hurry up. (stupid of me!) But, 50% of me being there was Al Gore. If I missed him, game over.
We got into the stadium, and guess who's seats were on the entire other side? Yep, I grabbed Brian demanding he run like hell. I was crying, yelling and having a mental breakdown. We got to our seats and sat for the first time in 7 hours. Brian said he was going to get food, and I stayed for the end of the Al Gore Speech.

 See, he knew I was there and waved at me. Sooooo worth it. 

I asked a random dude to take our picture. Me and Al Gore that is. I had gotten to hear the last of his speech and sat back and enjoyed some Stevie Wonder, Will.I.Am., John Legend, Sheryl Crow, and Michael McDonald. This was when devastation and chaos ensued.

No. Food.

What do you mean no food? What do you mean they closed the concession stand? Panic.
"Brian, I may die. I'm starving and thirsty."
I'm a bit dramatic when I'm hungry. Anyway, in all reality when Biden got up there to speak everything from the day just faded away. I had just my tiny little $100 Kodak camera to document, and about 40 charged batteries and ten memory cards for the entire event. I was worried I would miss something. I zoomed in on every famous person just to watch them and had fun watching Wolf Blitzer, and Anderson Cooper do their stuff live. That was a good way to pass the time in between speakers. 
 After Biden was the Main Event. Barack Obama. The man we had nominated as the Democratic Candidate for President of The United States. The emotion and thrill are almost too much to describe. I couldn't have been happier. The patriotism, excitement, and joy of it all was overwhelming. 
The speech was perfect, our spirits were soaring, and I knew that this was one of the greatest days of my life. After his last word, Fireworks started, and confetti dropped.
I knew at the moment all was right with the world. I couldn't stop grinning. I told Brian, this is something we will tell our grandchildren about.
It. Was. amazing. 
After Obama had gotten off stage, it was time to leave. I told Brian I wanted to wait it out a bit so; we walked around soaking everything in. We stopped and talked to Scott Kleeb who was running for Senate in Nebraska. I had done some work for him, and either he is great at BS'ing me, or he remembered me. Either way that was fun. We chatted with him for a bit. 
The place cleared out very quickly. We gathered some confetti and took some pics before we headed out.
If we only knew. 
We walked out with an average size group of people. Wait. Did we know how to get back to the hotel? It couldn't be that far. We would just walk out, find a train or group to follow and hoof it.
HA HA HA. Jokes on us.
We were cattle. We were trapped in a fenced-in parking lot.
Hilarity, Panic, and Riots ensued.
People were freaking out; I was just watching it all godown. It was like an out of body experience. We were surely going to die here. Cops were everywhere, sirens, pitch black in some spots, bright lights shining on us in others. It was a bit like that scene in War of the Worlds. 

We were told over a loudspeaker after an hour of just watching everyone freak out that we could cross that bridge, and head one mile to the train station. Oh, My God. Another mile in my fragile state. Crap. Before we could even wrap our heads around what was said, people broke the fence down, and we took off for the break. We made it through the fence, across the bridge, and into pitch black. 
 
We could hear people and were following people just praying we were going the right way. We started under some overpasses and could hear so many sirens. Someone said, there goes Obama. We looked up and saw the motorcade as it approached the overpass. Some lady said, well I can now say Barack Obama was on top of me. We laughed and rounded a corner with vendors galore. What they were doing was beyond me but, I was in. I like my crap. I told Brian, I hadn't gotten anything for my sister, so I had to stop. $40 and many shirts, donkey plush dolls, buttons and "crap" later I was ready to go again. About an hour of walking got us to the train station. We both sighed a breath of relief...and then waited. An hour and a half later we boarded a train. We were almost the last ones in line, so the train wasn't too packed. We were exhausted and just sat in silence.  I leaned my head on the window watching it all go by. I did laugh and tell Brian, hey at least we didn't drive.
Weak, tired, hungry, dehydrated, and hot we walked into the hotel. My head was pounding so hard from the heat and lack of water that I almost couldn't bear it. Brian insisted on finding food. I lay down in bed and turned on the TV to watch the CNN coverage while he was off. It was almost 2 a.m., and somehow he had talked a guy into making us some hot wings in the hotel restaurant.
God Bless That Man.
Brian made it back, and my eyes were swollen from a migraine by this point. I had some ice on my face trying to get it under control. We still didn't talk about the day, just sat on the bed with our hot wings. I got one down and picked up the next one......
The phone rang. It was morning. I had fallen asleep while eating. This is unheard of! It was a friend calling to say turn on the TV. John McCain was announcing Sarah Palin as his running mate.
Touche. 
We packed our bags, showered and were ready to head out. We were still tired and weak but were excited to see Alex. Through Denver we got lost trying to find food. Denver hated us and wanted us to starve to death. We finally found a Walmart and grabbed food there. Desperation stinks.
After our Walmart brunch, we made it to Nebraska and hit a Village Inn. That was incredible times ten! We walked in our door around 2 a.m. I made my mom get up so I could show her our pictures and tell her all about it.
Still, four years later I get giddy talking about it or thinking about it. The day Alex was born was the best of my life the 36 hours I spent in Denver is the second-best day 1/2 I have ever had.
I hope I get the chance to attend another Convention again, even if it's cleaning up puke. I have never felt more alive or "at home" as I did there. I was born to do something in politics. Too bad I have a crippling fear of public speaking.
Oh well, that is my story of how I spent 7 hours in line. 
Even better, I spent 4 hours in line a few months before this in Omaha in January to see Obama speak. That time I was about 10 feet in front of him and shook his hand. I was wearing a button I had custom made about Huskers for Obama. It fell off as I was shoved toward him after his speech. I grabbed it in my hand and when I when to shake his hand...he grabbed it out of mine, Held my hand, looked at it, smiled and said thank you to me.
I need a reminder of that some days.

Aunt Overload

My sister finally announced she was expecting #2. I cannot tell you how over the moon my little family is.

The truth of the matter is, I would love #2. I really would and here is where it gets all too serious. (blech) We tried for #2 for over a year. When it didn’t happen, I was okay with it. We told ourselves that we have our one amazing, beautiful, gifted child and that was more than enough for us. After a trip to the Dr. and review of my history, it was safe to say, for my health, one will be all for us. With him, I had heart issues. My heart just pumped way to fast and hard near the end of my pregnancy that my Dr. mentioned that any actual labor would and could be very harmful to both baby and I. So, after talking to him we decided that a C-section was the way to go. Today, I get such severe heart palpitations that I get very winded, dizzy and sleepy. I have to lie down and take deep breaths until it starts to beat a bit more normal. Since I don’t have insurance and DO NOT want to pay the thousands of dollars, it would take to do more testing on my heart to determine if it is strong enough for pregnancy #2. So one is our lucky number. (I know my smoking is harmful to, and I've cut way back and plan to stop this year)
 
Off that yucky dangerous stuff and on to the second light of my life. My youngest niece. She is my sister’s first child, and I get the biggest kick out of her. She is hilarious, and when I look at her, I see big giant brown eyes that in a small way mirror mine. A wider nose that matches mine and my sisters and I see a little of me in her. Since I will probably never have a daughter of my own, she is what I get to see when I imagine what my daughter would be like. She does look like her Daddy, but there are most defiantly hints of my sister in there. And if you know me, you know my sister, and I look ALOT alike! I hope with baby two; I can see more of me in her. My son is a long-legged, blonde, beauty with long lashes and big brown eyes. He is the spitting image of my sister. I see myself in him, but more people say he looks like my sister than anyone else. I tend to agree, and I do love it.

My niece, Lou used to favor me. She is now branching out to other people. (I HATE IT) But, I loved to walk in the door to a big happy GIKKI!!! Now Its, Where is Alex? (My son) I love she loves him so much, but I miss having pictures colored of me, cuddles and lots of Gikki's.
 
So besides all of that what is the best part of being an aunt?

And being the fun aunt who breaks the rules just a little bit.... 
 
Okay, Lou, I'll give you a few skittles. The little girl’s big eyes get bigger. But it will be our secret. (It's 7:45 on a Tuesday night) Do not tell your mom. She smiles at me and shakes her head yes. I crush up the cold skittles and give them to her knowing that once that sugar hits her system, I will be on my way home. (Sorry sister) Being an aunt is all about giving. Some candy here and there, babies, things that make noise, pink things, and later maybe some of my wisdom. (Do I have any?)
 
What makes me the most excited about being an Aunt is all of the things I got from my Aunts. The memories I have of them that I think of daily or share with my son, and hope to share with my nieces. I hope I always stay close to them and they will feel the way about me.
 
My Aunt Karla was born and raised in Texas, her accent is amazing. I could listen to her talk for hours (still could!) So tall, always had her makeup and hair perfect, She was what I wanted to look like when I grew up. I learned how to properly put on eyeliner when I was about 13 or so and stayed a week with my Aunt Karla and Uncle Danny in Texas. I remember watching my Aunt put it on while we were in the car headed to Dallas. I watched her so carefully and memorized it all. To this day I can close my eyes and picture that moment. I love that.
 
My Aunt Amy always had Flintstones Push pops in the freezer at her house, and always let my sister, and I wear her old Cheerleading uniforms. When I was in junior high, she drove my friends and me to volleyball camp about 40 miles away ever day for a week or two. (That is a good aunt!)  When I was little, I thought she looked just like Kayla from Days Of Our Lives (Remember Kayla and Patch?), and that was so cool.
 
My other Aunt who has is not to really in our lives anymore was the crazy single fun aunt. She always had excellent gifts like my first Caboodle case. She introduced my sister and me to Meatloaf and singing, "You took the words right out of my mouth" in the car. And was goofy as hell in the best possible way.
 
My Aunts rocked! I hope in 25 years Lou says the same thing about me. My Aunt Nikki Rocks.
 
So, Congratulations to my sister and brother-in-law. #2 is due to arrive around my birthday. Let's hope this one looks like my sister so I can get that "I get my good looks from my aunt" shirt I have been eying. Because Lou looks too much like daddy for me to pull that off.

Drowning in testosterone

For years I have known that I did not want a daughter. I was a total nightmare myself, so I didn't want that drama. I was thrilled when my little boy was, in fact, a boy. I was a tomboy so I knew it would be great. I grew up with just my sister and me, so some of the little boy things I missed out on. These days, I find myself questioning myself...."Is this a thing boys do?" Here are some examples of my life with my six-year-old boy, a husband, and three male dogs.

1) I think my kid cries dirt. Seriously. That child can get out of the bathtub, and if he cries, he has streaks down his face. Is this a thing? Is it normal? People tell me boys are always getting dirty, but actually...how does this happen? And I'm serious.

2) I cleaned carpets this weekend. The carpet was filled with 30% hair (mine), 20% Dirt and 50% rocks. Tiny little pebbles. I make the child take his shoes off when we walk into the house because his shoes are always filled with rocks, but how has he managed to get roughly 5 lbs. of rocks stuck in the carpet?

3) SMELL MY FEET!
SMELL MY SOCKS!
LOOK AT MY UNDER WARE!
LOOK IN THE TOILET!
THE DOG POOPED SOOO MUCH, COME SEE! 
These are all things I hear daily. Little boys are proud of their smells.

4) This is one of my closest friends favorite stories. My son loves to pee outside. I have often turned around and caught him peeing out in the middle of the yard, in the middle of the day. But, when he was about three years old, he was peeing off the front porch. I yelled at him to stop, and he got furious with me. "Those children at the park saw my weiner when you yelled they all looked at me."
Yes, he said those children and was angry I brought attention to it. This sadly did not break his habit, but it slowed it down.

5) 20 pairs of jeans and 20 pairs with holes in the knees. We go through jeans like toilet paper.

6) He now talks in his "man voice" He wants everyone to know he is manly. When he visits me at work, he only speaks in his "man voice" When we eat out, he only orders in his "man voice" For the life of me I can not get him to stop. Its all fine but comes off a bit like he is mocking someone. I don't want anyone to think he is mocking them so, I try to get him to stop...but here we are three weeks into this phase, and he said this morning, "love you mom" in his "deep man voice."

7) Bathroom behavior. Not flushing, leaving spit out toothpaste in the sink, hubs whiskers all over, toothpaste on the faucet, pee on the floor, TP roll, bare.

8) Army guys, guns, and cars EVERYWHERE. On the floor, in my bed, in my fridge, on the couch, on the coffee table, in the corner, in my China hutch-EVERYWHERE!

9) He apparently thinks my husband and I are deaf. His one volume is a 10 of 10. Neither my husband or son can whisper.

10) Dropping our pants ANYWHERE is HILARIOUS.  He has mooned me in Walmart, the grocery store, my work...etc. There is never any thinking about it, it just happens, and he always laughs.

Lucy's 2!

Today is my niece's birthday. She is two years old. I'm just her aunt, and I can't begin to wrap my head around the fact that it has already been two years since she came rocking into our lives!

The day she was born was Super Bowl Sunday. I can't tell you who played but, I can tell you how the two days before went second by second. 

Since little girl L was a bit stubborn and wasn't showing any signs of being ready to join us, her mom, dad, and my family decided to go to my favorite Steak place. All week I had thought about that Blackened Sirloin melting in my mouth on Saturday night. Friday night came, and I got a call from my sister. She was having some contractions. I was overjoyed but a bit disappointed. I wanted to have a big juicy steak in my belly before she got here.

No such luck. I waited until the next day and practically floated the 45 miles to my sister's house. We hung around all day, chatting and waiting.  Early evening we all decided to head to the hospital, another 20 miles away. My Mom, Step-Dad and I decided to grab some dinner before the big arrival. It was such a nerve-racking few minutes. We all sat quietly eating as fast as we could. I knew deep down that there was no way she was going to have that baby during dinner, but I was so worried that I didn't want to chance it!

We made it back, and there was a lot of sitting. My dad got there, and we just talked and pretty much annoyed my sister I think. We were in an old hospital that had old radiator heat. My brother in law slept in a recliner they brought him, my dad in a rocking chair, my sister didn't sleep but laid in bed, and I laid across three wood chairs next to the heater. It was pretty cold out, but so hot in the room we decided to open the window for some air. So, now I'm laying with my face an inch from the open window. I'm not sure how I didn't get pneumonia! I think I slept maybe 20 minutes. I was up and down all night as was everyone else. I had brought a ton of movies, books, magazines, etc. to keep myself busy....and I didn't touch one of them! I was too excited I was all over the place. That Sunday morning my dad and I ventured out into the freshly fallen snow to get some breakfast. We went to McDonald's and just kind of sat. We watched it snow and watched people come and go. Again, we were so ready for the baby to come and getting very anxious. We loaded up on coffee and went back to the hospital. Nearly the entire time we sat in that room it snowed.

The next few hours where a whirl of doctors, nurses, and excitement.  I got to witness her arrival. Due to my C-Section and complications, I got to see my son for a second then I was knocked out for about an hour after. So seeing her come into the world was such an amazing experience. She already had her little personality and grumpy look that still shows up often today. She was a chubby, grumpy, beautiful little angel. I could never thank my sister enough for letting me be a part of something so special.

I hung out for a while but wanted to give the new parents some time alone. So, I loaded up in my old beater car and headed the 60 miles home, in the snow. I was so exhausted I listened to a lot of music up full blast with the windows down. All the way home I was on cloud nine. I taped some of my drive home to show her when she is older.  I believe I just needed the activity so I wouldn't fall asleep. I made it back in time to kick my husband and son out of the house and fall asleep on the couch. It was amazing.

Here we are two years later and as I type this, it's starting to snow. I like to think Little girl L's arrival has brought us a sweet, pure, beautiful girl and sweet, pure, beautiful snow every year to celebrate her arrival.

Misty water-colored memories

I have been up in the air about what to blog about. I started 100 things I'm grateful for last week, and as luck would have it, halfway through Firefox shut down and didn't save it. Awesome. So, I'm taking a break from that and fast-forwarding to this weekend.

We finally got the first snow of the season. Maybe not the first snow but, the first snow we could sled in. About 9:00 p.m. Saturday night the snow finally got deep enough to sled in. After watching the weather, I figured out that it was going to melt Sunday morning and fast. So, I spelled out to My hubby, Should we take him S-L-E-D-D-I-N-G? The boy jumped up and yelled, SLEDDING?!?!
Damn, we can't spell much anymore.
I said, ummm...no. I kept gauging Hub's reaction.
He reminded me that since his spinal injury he wouldn't be able to sled. I said, well we can take the camera, and you can watch. So, we put on a dozen layers of clothes, coveralls, and socks and made it to the park to sled. We were all alone, and it was great. We spent a good half an hour going up and down the hill until My husband said he was cold and ready to head home. I had recently eaten an enchilada and drank a cup of coffee, and it was all sitting in my throat, so I was ready to go home as well.
It was a great night and a great memory. I hope it's one of those memories he carries forever and tells his children about. "Your grandma and grandpa took me out sledding one night before the snow melted" It was dark, we were the only people out, and It was still snowing so hard that all you could hear was the snow hitting you in the face and ears. It was so quiet and beautiful!

I always share stories with my son about things I did at his age or my favorite memories. I have so many great sledding memories with my parents. They always took us every year. Now I wonder if they did it because they loved it as much as my sister and I. They have some hilarious late 80's early 90's videos of all of us sledding. I need to find those to show my son; he would love it!

Last Christmas I wanted to get my son a sled. My husband said, let's wrap it. I didn't want to. I remembered very vividly one year my sister and I both getting sleds and they were leaned up by the tree. When I think back at my Christmas memories, that is one that sticks out. I mentioned it to my sis, and she agreed, she also remembered that very vividly. It's the little things your children remember. I don't remember anything else I got that year but, I remember that sled. Maybe my son won't remember us dressing up to go, actually being there or going down the hill one time, but maybe he will remember us laughing hard, making snow angels or running around catching snowflakes on our tongues. I know I will remember all of it and how we turned a quiet Saturday night in front of the TV into one of our best family memories to date. 
Oh, and of course the snow was almost entirely gone today, but the frozen fog on the trees made for a beautiful sight!

Blessed

This bracelet honors a true American Hero. 1LT. Jacob Fritz. Five years ago today he was Killed In Action. Five years ago today I lost one of my best friends. Jake and I always had this bond. I couldn't tell you what it was. We were opposites. He was laid back, conservative, a leader and I was high strung, wild and liberal. We always joked about our "politics" yet NEVER once downed each other about it. He loved me for me, the good, bad and ugly. I loved him for him...never bad or ugly. I have 1,001 stories about Jake. I like to keep some buried deep in my heart for myself on days like today. Some, I love to share because they paint the perfect picture of who he was and why we all loved him.

Jake and I had these crazy nicknames for each other, HTG. LOL. They were for us, and still, make me laugh today. He came up with them as a code when we wrote silly notes to each other at school. (I'm so lucky we grew up in the time of notes and not texts, I can still look at these anytime I want, Blessed)

When I was in High school, I was out of control to put it lightly. It was Jake who gave me a good "talking to" when I ended up at the police station one night. He never got angry or asked why did you do something so stupid? He just sweetly tried to get me on the right path.

The car, oh the times we had just driving and talking. That car makes my heart sink, and soar at the same time. I get a pang of grief, followed by a smile when I see it. When I see his brother in it, it takes my breath away and takes me back 13 years. I see him in his football jersey parked in the driveway grinning yelling, come on...lets go for a drive before the game. (Blessed)  OR, Let's slide down the roof of that barn for fun before I leave for West Point. I ended up with torn clothes, cuts everywhere and a stomach ache from laughing so hard. (Blessed)

At 16 I decided I was going to move out of my town of 100 people and to NYC. This is logical right? LOL, It's super easy to just pack up and find a Carrie Bradshaw apartment that is affordable. It was Jake who had reminded me; I need a college degree, money and strength to live out this dream. And when I decided to fall in love and get married instead of going to College, it was Jake who promised to be there, no matter what. He said he would come back from West Point to be there and support me as long as I promised to think about going to College. I promised, and when I got married on 9-11, he was there. I was married in a small park that only sat about 100 people. We didn't invite many friends because family filled it up. I invited Jake, knowing he would find a way to be there. And as I stood saying my vows, I saw him walking up the hill in his uniform. His grandfather had passed away, and he left right after the funeral to keep his promise. Through his grief, he celebrated my love. (blessed)

When my son was born, Jake came to visit during the summer. He was in town because he drove his little brother to swim lessons and stopped by a few times a week to visit. One of these visits I was so sick with the flu that I didn't make it out of the bathroom the entire time he was there. This was the summer before he left to go to Iraq. He sat by the bathroom door talking to me while my head was in the toilet. (Blessed) One of the other times, he got on the floor and "army crawled" with my son. My little guy didn't crawl, he drug himself, and Jake showed him how it was done. :) My little guy, "Army Crawled" for a long time after that. My son loves that story. He loves Military Guys and thinks it's pretty cool that a real-life Army Hero showed him how to crawl. (Blessed)  

A week before he passed away. He called me. (Blessed) The connection was terrible, and the delay was infuriating. He wanted to give me a hard time about my childhood home. His friends had moved into it and found my "I LOVE JACOB" shrine painted on the back of my closet. He laughed, I was embarrassed, but finally, I had a good laugh about it. After about 10 minutes the static and delay were so bad that I couldn't hear him and I yelled that I couldn't hear a thing and I would email him or my space him. There was no reply, so I just hung up. The guilt eats me alive. I gave up. If I had known that would be the last time, I would have kept trying until it was clearer. Why did I give up so easily? 

And on the day he passed away, I woke up and turned on CNN. There was a helicopter crash that killed five soldiers. I jumped on Myspace and sent him a message. A few hours later I got a reply; all was fine. Then, I got the call from my brother-in-law. I knew it wasn't true; he said he was fine. ALL WAS FINE. 

Things I do to help others is my way of honoring him. I try to do what he would do in certain situations. I know he would have been proud of work I have done over the years, My "causes" and craziness. Sure, there are times during my "causes" I cuss and lose my temper but, if he were here, he would just get a bit frustrated with me and laugh.  I wore my bracelet when I worked in Joplin, proud of his presence in my life through some of the things I do and don't do. 

He was my best advisor. He was my greatest confidant, the only person in the world who heard what I had to say and never once got mad or judged me. He was my friend. He was my husband's friend. He was everyone's friend. We all have stories to share about the boy with the bluest eyes and biggest smile. Mine are mine; they are MY stories, OUR stories, MY memories and that is pretty great, and makes me the most blessed girl in the world.

My Prime Time Television Debut

So I guess I didn't realize how excited I was about the Joplin EHMO episode tonight. About 6:58 I was fine, then it started, shots of the tornado and of course the stories...by 7:05 I was a bawling mess.
When we were down there, we knew we were working on a single mother's house who had one son. I had heard a rumor the mother had lost a child but, they didn't give us any details.
So, hearing her story and the story of the mother who lost 2 of her children was heart-wrenching. To make it worse, they mentioned one little boy was six years old. 
While their stories were so gut-wrenching, I thought about the old lady I met during this trip. She sat every day across the street from the building site and watched. She told us the spectator area was on top of where her house was. She had her granddaughter and sister with her (her only family) Her granddaughter (6 or so) dug in the dirt for anything that may be hers as she told me the story. She found a key and was certain it was her grandmas. The woman was happy for all the families who were getting the houses but wanted to know what made them all more special than her? She rode out the storm in the tub covering her granddaughter. She lost everything and was living in a FEMA trailer north of Joplin. I sadly understood. While happy for the families tonight, I was so sad for people like her who had no home, no job and no other family. 
So, back to my TV debut. If you saw me, awesome! I didn't think I'd be on. I stood behind the camera. I'm crippled by stage fright so, I was happy to be in the back. If you saw me, did you notice the lack of enthusiasm? Yep, it was written all over my face. 4 hours of reshoots, act happier, cry again for a close-up, all while herded like cattle into a hot tent had brought me way down. And for what? 15 seconds of air time. 50 or more perfectly great and eager volunteers wasting time standing around. I wish I would have walked out. However, I had a critical job to do. Cut yarn. Cut, yarn. Need yarn cut? Call me; I'm a professional. I was given lessons, by at least five different producers & Ty Pennington. 
After all, is said and done, I was pretty excited to see myself. I saw my hands first. I was content with that. I yelled, look, my hands, that's my bracelet and ring! (lame I know) Then my sweet side views with my happy face and DC. We do not have a DVR, so it went fast, but I was pretty excited. Hubbs was in the background too, so it was pretty cool to see. My awesome friend DVR'ed it, so she sent me a pic and again, all was right with the world. 
So, I'm proud of the work I did. I worked hard. If you know me, you know I'm lazy and hate the heat. Well, I worked for nearly 7 hours, hard labor in 90-degree heat. I rode home with my eyes closed from the intense heat headache. I couldn't eat the rest of the night because of a headache and the intense smell of decay and earth stuck in my nose. I felt nauseous for two days after. So all in all, I worked myself sick. And I would do it every day for weeks if I had the chance to. 
Besides my son, it's been the most rewarding thing I've ever done or been a part of. I hope anyone who reads this will volunteer for something like this if ever given a chance. God forbid anything else like this happens again. But, do it if given a chance. The rewards are so huge. The feeling of helping someone when they have nothing is incredible! 
We went the first time days after the tornado. Less than four months later Hubbs had his accident. About six weeks after the accident I drug him back to Joplin. I needed out of the house and near people. We love the city and people, and We needed something positive. The people of Joplin will never know how much we needed them at that point and how much they helped us during such a low, emotional point. 
We drove our vehicle from our home, leaving our healthy child and possessions. We were broken, sad and tired. When we left after two days, we were thankful, humbled and had our eyes wide open. 
In a few months, we are headed back to Joplin. A city that keeps pulling us back. We have had so many offers from people we met and some we didn't but read my article who want us to stay with them. The calls, cards, letters, and emails remind us that people are thankful and we want to help until everything is cleaned up. 
I wrote my stories, share my love of Joplin, and photos of the devastation hoping my son will follow our lead. 
I watched him hold a door open for an old lady with a walker the other day, and that's why I will continue to volunteer to help others.